


the holes in our hearts were made with similar blades

by EnderMoonstone



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, ambiguous "goro lives" au, just a couple of boys cheering each other up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25183525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnderMoonstone/pseuds/EnderMoonstone
Summary: It's tough having a normal life when the only inhabitants of this apartment are two traumatized boys who barely know how to function. Luckily, they're there to help each other back up if they stumble.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kitagawa Yusuke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	the holes in our hearts were made with similar blades

**Author's Note:**

> For a Discord server fic exchange.

When two boys who barely know how to have personal possessions own an apartment together, some compromises have to be made. Yusuke likes to display things and rearrange as he sees fit, but Goro hates clutter. Yusuke enjoys giving rooms color palettes, but Goro prefers minimalism. They’re polar opposites in plenty of ways... but they’re both acutely aware of their similarities. They both struggle to be social, though in different ways, and they both struggle with some… trauma.

When they live in an apartment far away from the influences of their fathers, that particular trauma is easy to ignore... but sometimes it comes rising up, and they can just  _ feel  _ when a bad day is coming on. 

The first sign is an unusually neat desk. Yusuke cleans up after himself every day (at Goro’s request), but when he’s in the zone he’ll leave unfinished projects all over the surface, glimpses into the mind of the artist in progress. But when Goro comes home in the afternoon and not only finds the chair empty but the desk completely neat, he knows something is wrong. 

The second sign is an unusually empty pantry. Yusuke is a snack fiend at the best of times, but he makes sure to leave half of the bag for Goro, since they often share the same tastes in junk food. But when the pantry is barren and the bowl of bag clips is full, something is definitely wrong. Yusuke doesn’t stress-eat unless he’s bothered about something. 

And the third sign is… mumbling. Goro can hear mumbling coming from their bedroom. Yusuke is talking to himself. He puts his ear to the door, trying to make out the soft baritone on the other side.

“...I wonder, would you be proud of me?” The tone is wistful. “Or would you be angry with me for letting him do what he did to me? Was your death in vain? Or is a change of heart enough to avenge…?”

Goro cracks the door open. Yusuke is flat on his back on the bed, his arm stretched above him as he rolls a small beaded bracelet around between his fingers. His bangs splayed out from his face, he turns his head to look at Goro with what has to be the flattest expression he’s ever seen from the younger boy.

“Good evening,” Goro hedges, coming closer. “Did you have a bad day? Your desk is cleaner than usual…” He sits down on the edge of the bed, feeling the mattress sink beneath his weight as Yusuke drops his outstretched hand to his chest.

“Not a bad day, per se. I suppose you could call it quite a good day. The weather was lovely, after all.” Yusuke sighs. “I merely… woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I suppose the expression goes. My mood seems unusually low today.”

Goro glances over at the bedside table, where the LED clock glows red with a time and date display.  _ 6/5 _ , read the mocking rosy bulbs. It’s no wonder… “Did you check the date? I think your body knew what was going on before you did.” 

Yusuke lurches up slightly from the bed to squint at the clock. “June.. fifth…” He flops back against the pillow and puts an arm over his eyes. “The day of his confession… of course. I was completely unaware… but perhaps my subconscious was enjoying my personal hell despite that.” 

“Do you… want company?” Neither of them are especially fond of physical contact, but humans are social creatures, as much as both boys might like to try and ignore themselves. 

“That… that sounds lovely, Goro.”

And so with a gentle motion, Goro slides into place beside Yusuke, reaching over and placing his hand over the other boy’s, stroking his thumb across the long fingers. He feels the cold touch of the plastic beads, barely warmed by Yusuke’s perpetually chilly hands, and sighs.

“I heard you talking to yourself, through the door,” he begins, voice cautious. “To your mother, rather. About him. And I… I’d like to say, I think she would be proud.”

Yusuke tilts his head and looks over, bangs falling over his eye as he tilts to look down at Goro. “You think so…? Of me? Even though I let myself be blinded for so long?”

“Is that really a fault of your character? A moral failing on your part? Looking back, did you truly have any mental or physical independence? You did what you had to to survive. Nobody can blame you for that, least of all your mother.”

Yusuke pauses, listening to his boyfriend with bated breath. Goro always seems to say the right thing… it’s an amazing quality of his. “I… thank you, Goro. You always know what to say.” He turns and rolls onto his side, pressing his face into Goro’s shoulder. “I did what I had to… I had somewhere to live, and that was enough for me. I never knew anything else… so I could not truly open my eyes to the possibilities that laid before me. I see now, though… and I feel that my place is with you.”

Goro sighs, a gentle smile flickering to his lips. Yusuke’s romantic side… rare, but sweet. “And so it will always be, Yusuke. I hope you’re feeling a bit better now.” His hand comes up to trail through Yusuke’s hair, thin blue strands separating at his light touch. He’s been growing it out lately… cute.

“I am… but I don’t think I’d mind cuddling with you a bit more, of course. Won’t you get comfortable?” Long fingers tug at Goro’s sleeves and pull him under the covers. Yusuke, with his unnatural chill, is the perfect cuddling partner on a warm June day like this.

“I think I will.” Goro’s voice lilts slightly, a teasing tone dropping into his words. Yusuke’s moods are as fickle and transient as his ideas. But that doesn’t make them any less devastating… and Goro resolves to always be there, for the short times that Yusuke could ever need him.

* * *

  
  


When Goro Akechi is in a bad mood, he makes it known. Wine-red eyes crinkle in irritation and his nose scrunches up in a slight sneer, and that’s only a mild bad mood; some are enough to knock Goro out for the day, not that he’d ever tell anyone that. “A business meeting” or “a prior obligation” the stories at work went, but Yusuke knows better. Yusuke always knows better.

Goro’s bad moods often begin as soon as he wakes up. He’s not a huge morning person, but he’s good enough at trying to function like an adult that he’s able to get himself out of bed within a few minutes of waking. On a bad day… not so much.

When Goro has a  _ bad  _ day, he just lays there, staring at the ceiling. Yusuke couldn’t say what’s going through his head… he just drapes his arm over the other boy and feels him sigh beneath his touch. Goro is practically non-functional on these days. He just wants to lay in bed and sleep, and Yusuke would be loath to deny him the comfort of the bed when he’s so obviously upset. 

“Would you like breakfast, Goro?” Yusuke’s voice is soft, not wanting to break the contemplative silence in the room.

“Mmn.” An affirmative sound. So he has an appetite, but he won’t bother getting out of bed…

“Do you want me to call you in at work…?” Sometimes Goro just needs a day off, and he won’t get anything done like this. Maybe Yusuke will take the day off as well..?

“...Mmn.” Okay. A day off to relax with Goro, then. He can handle that. He smooths his hand over Goro’s hair for a moment before getting out of bed to go make breakfast. He’s still not amazing at cooking, but Goro manages to keep their pantry simple enough that he won’t get any crazy ideas while cooking. Some simple omurice will be good, right…? Goro needs something hearty for energy, maybe it’ll perk him up a little bit. He nods to himself and gets to work.

Meanwhile, Goro is laying in bed, one hand absently playing with his bangs. Why is he still here…? He shouldn’t have made it… he wasn’t supposed to make it. He was supposed to go down with the bastard that ruined his life… but the others brought him back from the brink.

He lets his hand drop and gives a hefty sigh. He doesn’t understand the others… sometimes he feels like he barely understands Yusuke, and their relationship is… strange. Neither of them know exactly what to call it.. But it’s much more emotionally intimate than anything Goro has ever had, and sometimes that scares him. When’s the last time he got to be truly open with someone? Probably not since before his mother died… and there comes the hatred surging back up like acid, stinging his throat as he thinks about the man who destroyed his mother.

He wasn’t even able to bring him down on his own. The others took care of him… and how pathetic is that? The thing he worked his whole life for, ripped out from under his feet. That was his last chance to destroy that horrible man, the one who was personally responsible for all of his struggles—

Goro’s train of thought breaks as the door opens up again. Yusuke steps inside and nudges the door shut with his foot, holding a steaming plate of omurice. “I made it how you like it,” he offers softly, coming closer. “Go ahead and sit up so you don’t spill on yourself.”

Goro sighs and forces himself up, leaning back against the pillows and gratefully accepting the warm plate. The heat seeps into his fingers and brings a little life back to his eyes, seeming to anticipate the food. Yusuke returns to his side, resting a gentle hand on Goro’s leg as the other boy digs in.

“I called you in while I was cooking,” Yusuke hums. “Would you… like to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Goro mumbles through a mouthful of rice. “Done enough talking.”

“That’s fair.” Yusuke’s tone is even. “I’ll just keep you company then. Is that alright?”

Goro doesn’t answer, but the way he shifts slightly closer is answer enough. Yusuke wraps one arm carefully around Goro’s shoulders, making sure not to jostle the food as he rubs his hand up and down the other boy’s arm. The gentle contact helps Goro relax until he’s sinking slightly into the pillows, letting out a soft sigh as the tension bleeds out of him. It’s by no means a fix for his bad mood… but half of what leaves Goro cranky afterwards is the ache in his muscles from being so tense, so helping him relax now in the morning will do wonders for his mood later.

“You’re too good to me,” Goro whispers between bites of omurice.

“I’m not good enough,” Yusuke retaliates quietly. “Not yet. You always deserve more, Goro.”

Yusuke’s gentle baritone is enough to make Goro close his eyes and set down his plate in his lap, sighing. “...’M not gonna argue today. Just… be quiet and hug me for awhile.” Yusuke complies easily as Goro finishes up his omurice and sets the plate aside, practically collapsing into Yusuke’s hold. 

“I’ll be here anytime you need me, Goro. You know I understand, more than I think some of the others could.. You never have to be alone again, you hear me?”

Goro nods numbly, his hair slipping from behind his ears and into his eyes. “Yeah… you’ve always understood. What he took from me… you feel the same loss, don’t you?”

Yusuke hums a soft affirmative. “Maybe not in the same way… but I think the holes we feel in our hearts were made with similar blades.” 

The poetic words make Goro huff a laugh through his nose, though it lacks humor. “...Love you,” he mumbles, the words barely audible.

“I know. And I, of course, love you.”


End file.
